Overcoming: Self-centeredness
Someone Else
Notice
Each of us can make a difference in the world, but what's the motivation? Self-justification and trying to feel good about you are short lived. Trying to get someone's attention or make someone think you are better than you know yourself to be are just as tenuous. We all want to make a difference in this world, but most of our reasons for wanting to do so carry the same baggage we do.
Making a difference is not about being effective. You can be very effective and not make any sustainable difference at all. Just so you can make a tremendous difference in the lives of many and have your tombstone etched with the words, 'an ineffective failure.'
When our motivation aligns with God's nature, when we know who sent us, who sustains us and who will ultimately reward us, we will not hope for the sound of applause. This is not as spiritual or complicated or personally demanding as you might think. It is as simple as practicing the Golden Rule, but it does require looking beyond our own self centeredness, personal agendas and cultural prejudices.
Pretend you have a friend who just opened a little café. Do you say things like "Good luck on your new business venture," or "I hope God blesses you in your new endeavor," or even, "I will be praying for you?" Yeah, right. Who's fooling who? They are not very tangible.
Do you remember the movie Phenomenon? John Travolta did everything he could to get a young woman to notice him. She built chairs so he bought as many chairs as he could. When you love someone you take an interest in what interests them. Yes, you even pay attention to their agendas. Travolta did something tangible to make her notice him. He did more than exclaim, "Wow, those are great chairs."
In the make-believe café example what can you tangibly do to support that friend? It isn't necessary to sacrifice a lung or kidney. Stop by once or twice a month to eat and you are tangibly supporting and encouraging that friend. You have to eat anyway. Don't be a miserly tipper assuming because the owner is your friend you have privileges. Because the owner is your friend you want to be generous.
As you scan Craig's List you come across a position that a friend of yours might be interested in. Do you take a couple of minutes to e-mail that post to your friend? Why not? You certainly email them everything else.
Our culture is by and large so self centered we cannot do the really simple things to support and encourage one another. Simple things that take but a minute can do so much good, but it demands we look outward, become aware of not only the fresh smell of the coast or the beauty of Mt. Hood, but the people around us; family, friends, strangers.
I heard someone say the people who give to beggars have a very short explanation of why they do so, compared to the lengthy explanation of those who do not.
This is not about whether you give or don't give to those strategically positioned to be seen, but would you be willing to give to someone who is working? Would you pay fifty cents? In Oregon we cannot pump our own gas. It has to be done for us. I assume they are paid little, but the point is they working, not begging. No judgment intended, but I wonder who makes more money? Does the person begging on the off ramp make more money than the person pumping gas? Each time you get gas if you were to tip the attendant fifty cents or a dollar, what would that mean to them? At the very least doesn’t it say, in a tangible way, that you see them?
Think about Jesus and the widow who gave all she had. Is the point of the story about how much the widow gave, or is the point of the story that Jesus noticed her? Yes, the church wants us to see that she gave, but what I see is that Jesus noticed.
My wife cleans people's houses. Many times she does not see the people she works for. Sometimes she finds a list of additional things her client wants done. One of her clients, Jason, always starts his list with something personal like, "I hope you had a nice holiday" or some other short personal note that acknowledges that she is a person and she is appreciated. The point is my wife is noticed. She always tells me about these small acts of kindness. They mean much and cost little.
It's good so many folks are called to be missionaries, counselors or others who work with the marginalized, disenfranchised and hurting. I am just a regular person in a regular environment. I have more than some and less than others, but like you, I can impact my environment and the people I come in contact with. I don’t have to be a hero. I only have to be aware that I am surrounded by people who would like to be seen. Why waste the opportunity to breathe a little life into someone else?
It is not necessary to give up a body part or make a large donation. One of my professors told me everyone can give time, treasure or talent, to make this a better place to live. We only need to be aware there is someone in this universe besides ourselves.